The Three Mistakes of My Life

The Three Mistakes of My Life in alphabetical order are

Arrogance
Intimacy
Obsession

Like every human being, I also made mistakes that I myself cant digest. I had committed mistakes with the fears of Loosing my close friends and Inability to keep my own promises

[1] I turned my back at some of the close friends when I am needed the most. I promised one to teach him a subject that I topped during my engineering. But, just before the day of the exam, I did not teach him; even I did not tell him that I couldn't come. All this is to spend some intimate moments with my so called girl friend, ignoring the fact that it was the last chance for him to obtain his degree.

[2] As with any of the colleges, my class also had few love stories, in fact all one-sided. With those come the problems like egoism, possessiveness etc., that make even close friends fight among themselves. So, when one of my close friends planned to trash another one; without dissuading him, I encouraged him to teach the other a lesson. The reason is so stupid that just, I wanted to make him think that girls were not as good as he thought and they are responsible for all this bullshit, so that he would agree with me and ignore the girls; as a friend is another self. I am thankful to him for moving with me as though nothing had ever happened. This arrogance made me loose a good friend.

[3] As one of my close friends came from abroad, I recently planned a get-together of my engineering classmates in Hyderabad. During the same dates, another batch of my friends came to Hyderabad and planned a day out in a resort in the city outskirts, without notifying me. I was obsessed by the moment in hand, forgot and neglected my engineering friends. As with the earlier cases, I didn’t inform my friends regarding the situation; dumbstruck thinking the way they would react at that high moment. At moments, I am a coward, unable to face these kinds of situations in a diplomatic and amiable way; rather I would enjoy the moments at hand to its full extent without thinking of what would happen later. On the whole, it’s a Fiasco.

I am not a dipsomaniac, nor a recluse but a person who lives for pleasure and happiness, a Hedonist. According to me, true friendship is built on mutual trust, non – possessiveness and complete freedom. Friendship is not a responsibility to be fulfilled, but it is an opportunity to move heaven and earth. A true friend should accept all these to enjoy the relationship. Give someone their full freedom, and they won’t abuse it. I am afraid of telling some things to someone as they don’t give me full freedom and insist that I should be with them. A friend is one with whom you dare to be yourself, but I am afraid of loosing them. Friendship is not a give and take policy; it’s a greatest gift given with the arms of unconditional love and acceptance. It is not what the other person can do for you; but what you can do for him that binds him to you.

Everything fades, everyone dies eventually, and nothing is permanent. People die; relationships die and even love dies. That why I say again, set the friends free, they are not yours anyway. One should be liberal and mature enough to understand this. I don’t know the ways to describe my feelings, except a simple quote: “The best way to understand someone is to understand their silence, and then their words; for if you can’t understand their silence, how can you understand their words?” Just think about the reasons for one’s silence, one’s inability to inform about the issues at hand, and then you would get some answers.

Let me make it clear: It’s not that new relationships are more important than the old ones, it’s just that I enjoy the moments with who I am at that instant of time, irrespective of the length of the relationship. If I doesn’t enjoy the present moment, I would look for another way to enjoy. That’s what every one of us does, enjoy the life and I am not a sales person to convince anyone. I opted and decided to live like that. No person is a friend who demands my silence or denies my right to freedom and enjoyment, and anticipates to see me suffer, struggle and retrograde ultimately.

“A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out;” he shouldn’t be like the gatekeeper looking forward to throw him out of the world.

All the mistakes that I had committed towards my friends and the suffering I had undergone had led me to understand myself much better than ever before, regarding my priorities, my character etc..

Courtesy: Chetan Bhagat, for using his title.