Relationships : Express Yourself

Does any of you was told that “I don’t like the way you think, talk and behave” in just a single statement? Or did you tell any one without beating around the bush? Not many I presume. So, what is it that prevents many to tell a thing that could be told in just a simple sentence, to tell in a paragraph and even more at times? Do they think that the listener is so stupid to understand a simple and single statement? Also, there would be some instants where even one doesn’t tell about their feelings for him/her to the listener. Is it their inherent fear to tell others frankly or the inability to face the reactions and ire of the listener from doing so?

If the answer is fear, then do give your relationship a second thought. For if you are in any kind of relationship, there should be no place for fear and insecurity. If that is the case, then your relationship is not going anywhere, instead it is there where it really started or worsened. So, if you fear your partner, then there is something wrong in the way the relationship is built; may be the foundation is built on compromise, false notions and lies. As I always say, any relationship, friendship or love should be built on mutual trust, honesty and by giving complete freedom to the other.

A friend is one with whom you dare to be yourself, so if you fear to express your feelings; then take it for sure that he/she is not your friend. Also, be mindful of your judgments, for they reveal your own fears and prejudices. Don’t be certain that your opinion will be accepted; not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed without facing it. Go ahead and express your feelings, simple and short. Nothing in the life is to be feared, it is only to be understood. Don’t be of the opinion that he/she might learn him/herself or someone else will tell them. Most importantly, don’t accept any of them just because the person concerned is a friend or lover. A bad peace is worse than a war.

Our fear of disasters that may never happen robs us of the courage to meet the ills that do occur.

Once you tell them your feelings and thoughts, it is up to them regarding how they take it. If one is intelligent enough, one would introspect oneself. Remember that its only true friends who can stab you in the front. Don’t curse and blame them for pointing your mistakes or expressing his feelings that hurt you. Just listen to them patiently and give your response verbally and don’t be in haste to break the relationship. Be mature enough to accept one’s own flaws and take the responsibility for your deeds. "Maturity isn’t measured by how you live, look, act, talk or dress. True maturity is measured by the way you respond when faced with a difficult situation."

In fact, they are the ones who tell you what needs to be improved in you so that you become a better individual. There are very few people from whom you could learn about the various short comings in your personality. In order to raise your bar, it is important for you to overcome them. Unless, you don’t know what the short comings are, how do you handle them? So, it is important for you to allow them to be frank enough so that they can speak up their heart and you have a chance to introspect regarding their comments and take necessary steps if required.

Don’t think that you know more about yourself and you are perfect. It is this misconception that prevents us from learning. Respect one’s views and one’s right to express their feelings, desires and the things they hate. Just accept the fact that it is the fundamental right given to every citizen of the nation. Who ever do not know the truth is ignorant, but the one who knows the truth and denies is a criminal. Only an idiot persists in his/her mistakes or errors. Most of the people don’t try to accept the short comings with in them and or even if they accept, they put the blame on others. One tries to avoid the responsibility.

"The toughest opponent you will face ever is the “fear” within. Once you conquer it, you can conquer the world."

A friend is one who wants to help you mentally and spiritually, in building you on noble virtues that he thinks. You decide yourself whether they seem the same to you or not, after all everyone should have his/her opinion on the topic of discussion and just shouldn’t accept with out giving a thought. Don’t just go do what someone says, take interest in it, then debate it, ponder it and consider it from all angles. Never obey anyone's command unless it is coming from within you also. It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it. It is the ability to listen to almost everything without losing one’s temper or self-confidence. Be wise to know yourself, if you can’t accept it from others mouth. The principle mark of genius is not perfection, but originality and open-mindedness.

Everyone speaks well of the heart, but no one dares to say it out of the head. Also,” In order that all men may be taught to speak the truth, it is necessary that all likewise should learn to hear it.”

Courtesy : Airtel, for their caption.
Also Edited by Diwakar...